


For You and Me

by Suitjacketsonfire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling, Destiel - Freeform, Drunk Dean, Jealous!Cas, Little Spoon Dean, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Misunderstanding, Supernatural - Freeform, Upset Dean, Worried Sam, big spoon cas, cas thinks that dean doesn’t love him, dean gives more than he gets, dean thinks that Cas doesn’t love him, sweet cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 16:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20450222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suitjacketsonfire/pseuds/Suitjacketsonfire
Summary: Dean and Cas finally get together, but not until a rough road of misunderstandings.





	For You and Me

Dean couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He’s been pining after his friend since the day he met him, and after years of denial both of his own feelings and the possibility of his wishes coming true, it was actually happening.

Dean had flirted while at the restaurant today. Nothing new. Cas never seemed to mind when Dean did so, but there was one factor that was different today. Dean hadn’t flirted with a waitress wearing a nice skirt with her hair curled. He had flirted with the waiter, with tight pants and a beard groomed to perfection.

“Dean,” Cas growled the instant the hot waiter had left. For a moment Dean had worried that maybe flirting with him was a mistake. Cas is an angel after all and maybe he isn’t pro gay. 

“Yes, Cas,” Dean tried to play dumb but under the safety of the table his leg was bopping up and down with nervousness. 

Turns out Cas is very pro gay. Dean wondered why they haven’t done this before but it doesn’t matter because Sam’s at the library and Cas is kissing Dean like his life depends on it.

Dean grinned into the kiss and swung his arms around Cas, he leaned into Cas’ body trying to get every inch of their bodies in contact with the other. Cas moaned at the contact and isn’t that a beautiful sound?

Dean looked into Cas’ eyes, moving his hips forward into Cas’ as he whispered, “tell me what you want, angel.”

He expected Cas to say that he wanted to kiss some more or maybe if he was lucky Cas would ask to strip them of their clothes. Instead Cas backed away from Dean as if he burned and practically threw Dean’s arms off of his neck.

“No.”

“What?” Dean asked, standing there dumbly with his arms hanging by his sides, unsure of what to do without Cas to grab onto. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean I’m not doing this.” Cas said, the emotions Dean had seen on Cas’ face just moments before were long gone and replaced with his angel face. “Not to you.”

“O-oh,” Dean choked out. Where’d he go wrong? Cas was the one to kiss him first, but maybe Dean went to far. Maybe Cas was confused. Maybe Cas doesn’t actually like Dean the way Dean likes Cas. He looked down at the ground, hoping to hide the redness of his cheeks. He didn’t want Cas to feel bad about this, Cas is allowed to say no. “Okay. Do you-do you want to go find Sam?” Dean highly doubted that Cas wanted to be anywhere near Dean, especially not alone with Dean. God, he’s such a dumbass. Why couldn’t he just control himself?

He waited for Cas to respond but instead he just heard wings flapping as Cas left. Of course. How could Dean be so stupid. Of course Cas wouldn’t want to be around them any more. He destroyed everything. He always does.

He stood there by the door for a while, hoping Cas would return soon but knowing it wouldn’t happen.

When Sam came back to the motel Dean was drunk and Cas wasn’t with Sam.

“What the hell, Dean? It’s 5 pm!” Sam grabbed the bottles of liquor from Dean to either throw away or hide Dean wasn’t sure. 

“I fucked up, Sammy.”

“What do you mean you fucked up? Where’s Cas?” Dean choked at the sound of his friend’s name, ex-friend’s name. It locked in Dean’s suspicion that Cas had not gone to Sam at all. He is gone. “Dean? Dean, what did you do?”

Dean shook his head, he didn’t want to tell Sam. He didn’t want to speak. He wanted to drink himself into oblivion.

A couple days passed and there was still no word from Cas. They were about to go out on their hunt and Sam was trying to get Dean to pray to Cas.

“He won’t want to be here, he won’t come.” Dean said.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m here!”

“Dean, that’s stupid, you should know that Cas comes when you call.”

“Not anymore.”

When they returned to the bunker Dean hid out in his room. He slept and drank then slept off what he drank. He was worrying Sam so he’d have to get a hold of himself pretty soon but he didn’t know how to.

There was a knock at his door and since he didn’t want Sam to know how much he drank in the past hour he yelled at Sam to go away.

“I’m not Sam.”

Cas. What is Cas doing here? 

“Can I come in?”

Dean didn’t answer. He was half sure that he drank so much he was having hallucinations. He heard Cas sigh and then a flutter of wings. Great, he fucked up again and he didn’t even say anything.

“Dean.”

Dean almost threw the beer bottle he was currently half way through at the voice.

“Cas?”

“Hello, Dean. Sam called me, he said you were not doing well.”

Damn Sam. “I’m fine. I’m just sorry, t’is all.”

“What are you sorry about?” Cas tilted his head in the way Dean loves. Or used to love, he knows now that Cas doesn’t want Dean to feel that way about him.

“I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’m sorry, I’ll do better. I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me or see me again but I don’t want you to leave, but I won’t be mad if you do.”

“Why would I leave?” Is Cas playing dumb, trying to get Dean to fully recognize what he did because he knows. He knows very well.

“Because I did all that shit you didn’t want me to do! Because I’m a dick and I wasn’t thinking about what you wanted!”

“Is this in correlation with the events after lunch?” 

“Yeah, Cas. When I almost raped you.” Cas flinched at the word and Dean wanted to apologize again.

“I don’t think you understand, Dean. You didn’t do anything to me. I was the one who crossed boundaries.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I rebuilt you after hell. I know every detail from your life before that moment and a good amount of what went on after. I was overcome with jealousy after seeing you flirt with that waiter but I shouldn’t have let it get to me.”

“Now I’m really lost.”

“You give more than you take. I know that in your youth you gave everyone what they wanted even if it hurt you. I never wanted to be one of the people in your life that toke from you. I wanted to be the one who gave my all to you. But instead I turned into everyone else. I got greedy and I led you to believe that you had to give me sex. I didn’t want to be like those people from your youth that toke precious things from you so I ran. I believe that I am now in the right frame of mind to apologize and assure you that I will not do it again, if you would feel comfortable letting me into your home once more.”

Dean took a long time to wrap his head around what Cas was saying. He was using his usual business tone of voice and he’s the one apologizing which can’t be right. What was Cas taking from Dean? Dean wanted to have sex with Cas, Cas was the one who said no. 

“Cas, are you saying that you do want to have sex with me?” Dean asked slowly. Cas froze up and looked down at his hands.

“I’ll admit that yes, I was sexually attracted to you but I don’t intend on letting it go on any longer.”

“Why not?”

“Because you do not want to have sexual relations with me, you wish to make me happy. You do not need to do that, I’m very happy just being around you, even if it may never be as closely as it once was.”

“You said you didn’t want to have sex with me.”

“When did I say that?”

“At the motel. I asked what you wanted and you said that you didn’t want to do it with me.”

“I said I did not want to do it to you. When you asked what I wanted it became clear that those events were not because you wanted them but because you thought it was what I wanted. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Dean would have burst out laughing if he wasn’t so overcome with joy. “Cas I want to have sex with you. I’ve wanted to for a very long time.”

That seemed to startle Cas. “What?”

“I like you, you know, that way.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. If you want we can try again?” Dean proposed nervously.

“Yes,” Cas growled, he finally moved away from the door and towards Dean on the bed. “But not tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Because you are drunk and i worry that it would not be completely consensual.” Dean snorted at that. He’s 100% positive that he would not regret it in the morning, but he might regret not remembering it so he ended up nodding in agreement.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, Dean. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Cas turned around to walk away. There’s no way in hell Dean’s letting that happen. He snatched Cas’ trench coat sleeve and held tight.

“Just because we aren’t going to fuck tonight doesn’t mean we can’t do anything.”

“What do you mean?” Dean didn’t want to answer just in case Sam was lurking around the door to get new things to tease him about so instead he tried to wrestle the blankets out from under him without letting go of Cas just in case he tries to run off again.

“Well? Take off your accountant clothes and get in here.”

“I don’t require sleep, Dean.” Cas reminded him but he started to undress anyway.

“I don’t care what you do, fake sleep, read a book, watch a movie, masturbate, I just want you here.”

Dean watched as Cas undressed to his boxers and undershirt. He wasn’t named but it was more skin than Dean was used to seeing on Cas. He patted the space next to him and Cas sat down. He wiggles down until his head was on the pillow and watched Cas copy his motions.

“Now what?”

“Now I remind you that if you tell Sam any of this I’ll cut your dick off,” Dean said but there was no fire to his words, and he spoke them as he lifted Cas’ arm so it was resting around his shoulders and placed his cheek on Cas’ chest, rising and falling with Cas’ breaths.

Dean gleamed when Cas relaxed and pulled Dean closer, resting his head on top of Dean’s. Dean would swear he felt a light kiss. 

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”


End file.
